Lemon and coconut and E135 surprise. Yum.

I've just come across a hilarious blog of recipes which all involve packets of cake mixes or tubes of frosting or whatever.

Completely bloody unnecessary. The amazing thing about cooking is how you can take a few simple ingredients, and magic them into something wonderful!

So, given that I'm a fairly good cook, I thought I'd record what I 've been cooking every now and then, and have a go at writing recipes. They'll all be approximate, because I don't generally use recipes. Or scales. And I guarantee you not to include a single artificial additive.

For lunch yesterday I had chicken liver pate (left over from a party at the weekend) and a chicory vinaigrette. For supper we had a veg curry. I offer the pate as an unhealthy but tasty treat and the curry as absolution.

Chicken liver pate (How do you do special characters on here?? That should be p - a with a hat on - t - e acute accent )

250g (ie a small tub) chicken livers
about 50g butter
one medium onion
2 fat cloves of garlic
dried (or fresh) thyme
salt and pepper
brandy
more butter

1. Chop the onion and garlic finely.
2. Cut chicken livers into small pieces. I use kitchen scissors.
3. Melt the butter in a pan and fry the onion and garlic gently until translucent and smelling gorgeous. If you're using dried thyme, add a teaspoonful here.
4. Add chicken livers and cook gently until no pink shows, which will probably take about 3-4 minutes. If you're using fresh thyme, add a handful here.
5. Add a couple of slugs of brandy and cook on a high heat until the alcohol has cooked off and the mixture has calmed down.
6. Inhale the aroma deeply. My God, you're clever!
7. Add salt and pepper to taste.
8. Pour the contents of the pan into a food processor and zizz until smooth.
9. Pour into a serving dish and level the surface.
10. If you feel like it, which I usually don't, seal the pate with clarified butter. Melt about 50g more butter in a small saucepan. As it melts, skim the white surface gunk off until you're left with a clear yellow liquid. Tip this over the pate.
11. Refrigerate.

(This is fun! I've never written down one of my recipes before!)

Vegetable curry
(serves three to four with rice, or two without)

Vegetables shouldn't taste this good!

sunflower or vegetable oil
a large onion, roughly chopped
2 fat cloves of garlic, finely chopped
4 carrots, peeled and chopped
1 cauliflower, cut into small florets
half a cabbage, shredded
5 potatoes chopped large(omit this if you're having a rice accompaniment)
about a cup of frozen peas
2 tsp garam masala
1 tbsp ground coriander
2 tsp ground chilli powder
1 tsp salt (or more to taste. I like my food salty.)
half a block of creamed coconut

(these are the ingredients which came in my organic veg box, but you can use any selection you have to hand. Just remember that the larger the pieces, the longer they take to cook.)

1. Slosh some oil into a large saucepan.
2. Saute the onion and garlic until soft and translucent.
3. Add spices and salt. Stir the mixture and cook for two minutes.
4. Add the other vegetables (except the peas) and stir and toss until all the vegetables are coated with the spice mixture.
5. Add about three quarters of a pint of boiling water and bring to the boil. Simmer covered for about five minutes and uncovered for another five. If it gets too dry at any stage, add more water.
6. Thaw the peas in a colander under the hot tap. Add them to the mixture.
7. Crumble the coconut and add to the curry. Stir it in. Don't worry if there are lumps of coconut floating in it - they'll dissolve.
8. Continue to simmer until the mixture has achieved the consistency you like. Personally I like my veg not tooo soft with a thick sauce.
9. If you've got any, you can add some shopped fresh coriander before serving.At least, I think that's what I did...

God, talk about displacement activity. Now I really MUST do some work!