Iain McCallum 1929-2005

Dad died just over six years ago now. I won't pretend that I think of him every single day, because I don't think I do. My mother does think him every day; probably every hour. Everything in her life reminds her of something to do with him. Every month holds a dozen anniversaires; every day a thousand tiny micro jolts of memory.

So no, I don't think of him like that. I don't even, as I used to, see something, read something, hear something and think "I must ask Daddy about that". I do, however, often reflect on things he said, habits he had, aphorisms of his and wonder at how wise he was. (Most of the time; occasionally he got it spectacularly wrong!) I've passed many of his nuggets to my children. Among them:

- Never trust any group who gesture en masse above their heads with a hand shaped like a fist or a slap. Mass violence shows itself.
- Try as hard as you like, but never LOOK as though you're trying. It smacks of desperation and scares people.
- Swear to release pressure. Don't swear AT people. It's unattractive and violent.
- Be nice to every single person you ever meet. It's good breeding. Only ill-mannered oafs feel that there are people of lower status than they, and they can be unpleasant to them.
- If something's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If it's not worth doing, don't do it at all.
- Be yourself. If you try and be someone else, you'll be uncomfortable and you'll always get found out.
- Your body is ony a vessel to carry around your brain. It's nice to have a pretty box, but the present is more important.

Happy Father's Day, everyone.

Sarah Palin. Oh Dear, I seem to be on about her a lot...

She wants to be President.

...


...sorry, I have to go and lie down in a dark room until it gets better.

I'm just going to come out and say it...

I LOVE teenagers. They're funny, sweet, sulky, endearing, infuriating but above all interesting. They speak their minds, don't smarm you (because they haven't learned how to yet) and make you splutter with laughter when they come out with gauche or ill-judged comments which, if you had no sense of humour, would make you give them a detention and register a formal complaint with the authorities.

They get a bad press because there are a small minority who, probably because of circumstances which pre-existed their ability to make a decision, have no idea of, or respect for, the rules of living in a society. If the logic which says 'some teenagers are feral and dangerous, therefore I will avoid them, especially when in groups," were in the ascendant, men would be avoided by all women. Women would be avoided by most women. Dogs would cower and hide from humans. Cats... well, you get my drift.

The ruth remains that the vast majority are hard-working, thoughtful, kind and funny. They love their mothers, but listen to their friends more. And they mostly turn into lovely adults.

So, I'm a teacher and a mother of teenagers, and I say "Up with teenagers!" They make the world a more interesting place to be.

Another reason to loathe Tesco

You wouldn't think there were many more reasons to detest the giant conglomerate stealthily taking control of this country by spreading like a giant slug and suffocating small business wherever it goes, soaking up all objections to its progress and inexplicably leading councils, boroughs and government to gently push away piles of protests from men and women in the street, signing all permissions without demur, precisely as requested, and then rolling over and asking Tesco to slime their tummies.

But no. Apparently it is not enough to take £1 in every £11 spent in the UK. Now it is essential that no one should derive free benefit from its products, EVEN IF THEY HAVE BEEN THROWN AWAY. Tesco has decided to prosecute some poor woman who took a large quantity of ham from a Tesco bin. Apparently the fact of throwing something away does not mean that you relinquish ownerhip of it. Apparently.

Now, I don't know about you, but it is normally precisely in order to relinquish ownership of something that I put it in a bin. The bin is there to facilitate my relinquishing ownership of it. Because otherwise I would be living in an environment which would lead documentary makers specialising in films about mentally ill people who can't throw anything away and live in their own filth to come knocking on my door. If someone else can find a use for my waste, so much the better. The Freegan movement is well-established and I think performs a useful function, keeping down the tide of waste and utilising that for which most of society has no use.

What I see here is the biggest, fattest, most revolting dog I've ever observed in a manger, growling with aggression while cradling piles of past-sell-date ham.

I personally find the concept of Freeganism far less repulsive than this vile, vile giant slug of a corporation.