People underestimate the effect of our use of language. Where the meanings of words shift subtly so that our view of the world is warped, the effect is insidious.
There have been ludicrous attempts in some areas of life, notably the military and business, to take unpleasant concepts and attempt to soften their effects by wrapping them up in pleasant sounding phraseology, but these are not successful because they are so obvious. "Collateral damage" and "friendly fire" are brash, outrageous and ultimately unsuccessful attempts to make "people being killed because they are near your target" or "accidentally killing your allies" less appallingly offensive. A problem is still a problem, even if you rechristen it an "issue" or an "opportunity".
But some subtler shifts in the way we use language actually pervert the way we see life over time. There are some words which enrage me when I hear them especially in the news.
Have you noticed that the verb "to attribute" and the perfectly serviceable, and emotionally neutral, adjective "attributable" have all but disappeared from our language, replaced by the much blunter and more loaded "blame"? Years ago when job losses were reported on the news, we were told that the need for redundancies was attributable to the economic climate, or cheap imports from abroad, or poor sales, or whatever. Now we are told that the economy/cheap imports/poor sales are blamed. It may seem a moot point, but I would suggest not. We live in a world where anything that happens is somebody's fault. Nothing is ever an accident. If anything goes wrong, wew all look around to find someone to blame. If a child falls off a climbing frame, instead of dusting him off and advising him to be more careful next time, we insist that the climbing frame is dangerous and must be closed off to ensure that no other child incurs an injury. We may consider calling one of the "accident helplines" (ambulance chasing lawyers) who advertise shrilly on day-time TV, appealing blatantly to the dispossessed and unemployed, and bring a suit against the council/school/leisure centre. Accidents, or the matter of blame associated with accidents, has become a way for the desperate to make money and to feel important.
Because if you bring a suit, you are a "victim". And that's my second loaded and dangerous word. Recently I notified the police that I had had my car wing mirror knocked off. I had to in order to claim on my insurace. I received a sympathetic letter from the Victim Support Unit, offering me comfort because I had been the victim of a crime. I wasn't the victim of a crime. My car was. Sometimes you just have to accept that shit happens. If every time something unwelcome happened to me I was told that I was a victim, I would be completely disempowered. I have control of my life because I have personal responsibility. My wing mirror got knocked off because I parked badly. Not long ago I read a statistic which told me that (and I'm being approximate as to the actual figure here) something like 1 in 5 women in Britain had been victims of sexual assault. Appalling, I'm sure you'll agree. Except that further enquiry revealed that a bottom grope was included in this. By that token, yes, I have been sexually assaulted. Now how ludicrous does that seem? To lump someone on a crowded tube squeezing my bum with the ordeal of my friend who was a true victim, pinned to the ground and raped in her own home? It is an isult to those who have been rendered powerless and diverts resources which should be targeted for their use. I am not a victim. Many, many bad things have happened to me, but I am not a victim. What is the point of making us all feel scared and powerless by labelling us as victims? The only possible outcome is that gradually we learn to accept that we have to entrust to others our lives and our futures. Because we are all victims we can do nothing for ourselves.
My third pet hate is "deserve". Because you deserve it, trills the spokeswoman for L'Oreal. How do you know I deserve it? What do you think I have done to deserve it? Have I done something really great to deserve it? We're told a lot about what we deserve, but we hear very little about what we should to to get our desserts. Again, we are disempowered. We are pampered like babies and told we are all special and we all deserve all that is good in this life, and we don't need to do anything to get it for ourselves. We can't all be special. If everyone is special then no one is special. As was so brilliantly illustrated in 'The Incredibles'. The only exception to this is babies: all babies are special to their parents. And so we ARE babies. And babies are powerless. If you've seen Wall-E and seen the baby-adults drifting around in their TV chairs on tramlines, well, that's where I believe the trilogy of 'blame', 'victim' and 'deserve' are taking us.
Of course there are victims with people to blame. But they are in a small minority and they must be cared for by those of us who are able to look after ourselves. We are the majority.
I was brought up with a firm belief in the power of personal responsibility. I believe that if I work very, very hard I can have whatever I want. I deserve nothing, unless I work for it. I have no entitlement, and I have no one to blame for my future but myself. I am no victim. And I think I'm very happy for that reason. Aldous Huxley said "Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities." I'm with him on that - the clue is in the word 'activities'. Take control, grab responsibilty and you will find yourself empowered. And then you'll be happy.
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